Since I officially graduated into she hui da xue (literally translated from Chinese as "University of Life") one year ago, I seem to have lost some of my unbridled optimism of youth. Thankfully not enough to be jaded by the world, but then again, I am all of 22.
I am torn.
Everyone's leaving. Joy's left, Ag's leaving this Friday, Gyn is waiting to leave, I am waiting to leave, even good old Elle is looking. I promise this is not some evil plan to cause the downfall of the company. It is their own undoing.
Is it misplaced loyalty if I feel like I should stay to cover the gaping holes of this sinking ship? Ben says I am not a rubber dinghy, haha. How long more do I wander in the wilderness? I am being stretched everyday: some days I feel like I'm top of the situation and everything is well in control, other days I am tempted to throw in the towel and ask them to clean their own mess.
I was hired as a purchaser, but it seems now I am expected to do marketing, export sales, corporate sales and assist my two directors and my manager. Hire me! I am value-for-money.
I honestly do not know to leave or not to leave- my tender of resignation was written a week ago and has been in my bag ever since. I feel no peace going, which is why I have not done the deed so to speak, but I feel no happiness staying either. In Hokkien, they call it dio diao (in limbo).
I know what Pastor Tiak would say (to which I would agree)- this is not a moral issue, and God's soverignty cannot be thwarted by man's decisions or plans.