You wrestle with your own thoughts, your logic at battle with your emotions. When words fail you and you listen to a dozen different songs that seem to articulate the story of your life with such wretched honesty. I just miss you, that's all.
The last 2 weeks have been a whirlwind of frantic packing and teary farewells, of last-minute shopping (I went to as many op shops as I could to procure myself some "one-off" Melbournian clothes) and ethnic cuisines (Ethiopian twice a week, Carribean, Szechuan... Singapore cannot eat one!), of hitting the road and being shutter-happy.
The day before I was flying home, my laptop died on me. It just fizzled and sizzled and all the magic spells in the world couldn't bring it back to life. After a bit of a drama, I had E drive me to the nearest computer shop and bought myself a new Lenovo laptop for under $500. I felt like my entire life was in that laptop, and I swear I would have a complete breakdown if I didn't get a new one immediately. And we managed to buy a portable hard disk case, pry open the old laptop and transfer the data onto the new one, 2 hours before I was to get on my plane, thank God!
It's been over 24 hours since I've landed home, and everything smells like it does in the tropics. It's the awkward familiar humidity which I promised myself not to complain about. All over town malls are exploding and I am completely disoriented and have had to depend on Mellie (who has only moved here for 3 months) to tell me where's where. I looked so lost at the train station that the uncle gave me an MRT map of the new system. A stranger in my native land, making a quiet re-entry into my hometown.
Everything in my life, inside and outside has changed and I am fighting every bone in my body not to be emotional about it. I miss you more than words can say, but I have to learn to live in the now, be grateful for what I have, appreciate the people around.