Have you ever had the fear of being exposed as a fraud?

Sometimes I think I'll go to work and suddenly everyone can see me through me and realize I'm not what they make me out to be, that inside my head is truly empty- nothing is original and ideas are borrowed, my gregariousness is merely a cover-up for my incompetence and my appearance a distraction from my duties.

Oh, one of those days.

I've been on the desk for five months now, and this shouldn't be too hard for me but when you realize how wide the universe of finance is and how little you know, it is a humbling thought.

And knowing that true promotion comes not from men but from Him, who can give and take away just as freely, and what you experience now is not for eternity.

Striving is for the secular world, real success comes from God.

Keep me humble, O Lord and walk me through this journey. When I cannot see the road before me, when my head says go and my heart says stay, when I fear what men can do to me and seek for approval from them instead of Him, when I'm weary from wandering around... I know You are right beside me.

Long, short, hedge, risk, spread, yield, horizon, swap, derivatives... How do I familiarize myself with these jargons and concepts and pull off my Fixed Income role play tomorrow?

I started a joke and started the whole world crying.