"You know that point in your life when you realize... all of a sudden even though you have some place you put your stuff, the whole ideal of home is gone?

You'll see one day when you move out... what happens when it's all gone. You feel like you can never get it back. Maybe it's like this rite of passage... you create this life for yourself.

Maybe that's all family really is, all these people who miss the same imaginary place."

- Zach Braff as Largeman in Garden State

I watched the movie Garden State on the plane, which reminded me of P's favourite movie Donnie Darko and made me think a lot about life, love, family and purpose.

Coming home was definitely weird.

My stuff is stacked in boxes in my sister's old room, my old room is now my sister's and my brother let me have his room because the air-conditioner broke. There's a new dog in the house, my dad got into some financial trouble again, I found out I left my EZ-link card in my suitcase in Tokyo, I can't get my laptop to connect, I'm wearing my brother's clothes to sleep, using my sister's old phone and some random SIM card to be connected with people here.

And then I remembered why I left Singapore, why I need to do this for myself.

It's 4 a.m. and I'm wide awake, feeling so out of place even though this is home.

Oh, and my stupid hair is all poofy because I don't know how to blow it right. :(