Sometimes it seems all you can do is sit around and wait, and waiting is the hardest thing to do. You feel like your heart is about to burst with anticipation and unmet expectations, and the pang of regret doesn't quite go away.
It's not the "what ifs" but the "if onlys" that will kill you.
And there's the fear that you will never again find someone like him. Someone who would fly 7 hours to your hometown to help you pack and move. Someone who would take you into his apartment and let you share what little space he has. Someone who would share his tiny mattress with you and let you have his pillow and blanket. Someone who would make multiple trips to the mobile shop with you because you couldn't decide on a model or plan. Someone who would piggy-back you on the balcony to teach you how to use the washer so you wouldn't dirty your feet. Someone who would cook up a feast and wait for you to come home to eat together, however late it is. Someone who would run all around Tokyo to run errands for you. Someone who would run to the pharmacist during his lunch break to buy medicine for you when you text that you have a tummy ache. Someone who was good-looking, intelligent, fun and caring.
The stupid romantic in you clings on stubbornly to what you think was the one big love in your life, and the pragmatist in you tells you to get on with your life. But you, and everyone else, knows that deep inside you there is a flicker of hope that has not been extinguished.
And so you continue waiting, even though that someone is gone.