In short, I had a wonderful time with Daddy over the last weekend.

I got to bond with Daddy like I have always secretly hoped for. Seated in Kodaki-san's car, with him on my right and his hand placed carefully but purposefully on my knee, I have never felt more loved and complete in my life. When I saw the liver spots on his arms, I realized that he was growing old and there might come a day when he would not be around any more. He had come all the way from Singapore to visit me, his oldest girl and apple of his eye, he who has not taken a vacation in years.

You should have seen how he beamed as E and I greeted him at the hotel door. We were too shy to hug, but shoke hands instead like proper adults. He wasn't big on sightseeing but I knew he was just happy to be around me. When he came to stay over at our place for a night, I busied myself with making coffee and cooking rice and all the domestic chores I never bothered with in Singapore, and he watched on silently. I imagined how weird it must be to see his daughter all grown up, living on her own in a foreign land.

I remember when I was still in school, I would often wake up late and have to knock on my parents' door. Heart pounding and full of shame and guilt, I would ask him in the nicest way possible if he could drive me. (I now know how terribly annoying and inconsiderate it was of me, especially when he had a full day of work before him.) He would often be grumpy and chide me for being lazy, but he always got up. On Saturday, I woke up extra early just to make him breakfast, and I realized this was time to pay him back.

Last night, finally alone and with time to think, I realized how little I knew of him and found myself overwhelmed by his love for me and at the same time grieved over the many years we've lost as father and daughter. I looked at the photos taken over the last few days and began to cry.

Relationships can be so complicated.