Monday, December 3, 2007
Moonlight Shadow 
In the evenings I'd get together with friends, watch videos, whatever, anything to leave myself as little free time as possible.
But the struggle was fruitless.
There was only one thing I had any desire to do: I wanted to see Hitoshi.
Yet at all costs I had to keep my hands and body and mind moving. Doing that, I hoped, albeit listlessly, would somehow, someday, lead to a breakthrough. There was no guarantee, but I would try to endure, no matter what,until it came. When my dog died, when my bird died, I had gotten through in more or less the same way.
But it was different this time. Without a prospect in sight, day after day went by, like losing's one mind bit by bit. I would repeat to myself, like a prayer: It's all right, it's all right, the day will come when you'll pull out of this.
But the struggle was fruitless.
There was only one thing I had any desire to do: I wanted to see Hitoshi.
Yet at all costs I had to keep my hands and body and mind moving. Doing that, I hoped, albeit listlessly, would somehow, someday, lead to a breakthrough. There was no guarantee, but I would try to endure, no matter what,until it came. When my dog died, when my bird died, I had gotten through in more or less the same way.
But it was different this time. Without a prospect in sight, day after day went by, like losing's one mind bit by bit. I would repeat to myself, like a prayer: It's all right, it's all right, the day will come when you'll pull out of this.
- An excerpt from "Moonlight Shadow" by Banana Yoshimoto
Labels: books, confession, life, love, tokyo
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