The landscape painted varying hues of red and yellow, fallen leaves on footpaths, day trips in and around Greater Tokyo. Acute homesickness, nostalgia and heartache.
This time round, I am packing suitcases and getting ready to go home, counting down my time in this place that has given me so much, reluctant to go but eager to start anew.
And then there's the feeling of contentment that has settled in my stomach, the smile on my face when I think about him, about us. I wake up every day feeling like I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Today Mel and I spent a perfect autumn afternoon in Kiba.
We bought sandwiches from the convenience store and sat in the park, watching salarymen on their break having packed lunches, retirees walking their dogs and mothers playing with their young children in the open field.
There was a slight chill in the air but it was compensated by the blazing afternoon sun. The sky was a perfect blue, and all around us the foliage was slowly changing colour.
After lunch, we strolled to the Museum of Contemporary Art Tokyo. We bought the combined pass while allowed us to see "When Lives Become Form", a vibrant and fantasical showcase of music, artwork and architecture from Brazil and "A Quiet Gaze, Echoing Words", a photographic collaboration between Japanese Daido Moriyama and Spaniard Miguel Rio Branco. We didn't even get to see the permanent exhibition because Mel had to rush back to work, but I think I might go again.
I will miss this when I'm gone.
But most of all, I will miss Mel. The thought of leaving her breaks my heart. She has seen me through the best and worst of times, my most constant source of support. Still we both have our destinies to fulfill, and I pray that one day we may find ourselves in the same place again.