If you think you need some lovin' 
.. well that's fine.
Taken during summer in Box Hill, Melbourne
It's halfway into autumn and the temperature has been peaking at about 18 degrees. There is an unmistakable chill of winter in the air, and the cold reaches into my bones and I soon forget what the warmth of the sun feels like.
The children blithely run about in tatty t-shirts and tiny shorts. Aren't you cold, I ask. They respond with a look of incredulity on their faces that makes me wonder why I bothered to ask in the first place.
Watching them play, I often think about how much I missed out on as a kid. I remember spending a lot of time doing homework, attending art and tuition classes and going to the library, but I never had much outside time.
Don't get me wrong, it's not like I had an unhappy childhood, but I didn't climb any trees or trap insects in bottles and I never learnt how to ride the bicycle.
Labels: australia, autumn, confession, culture, life, photo
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Thursday, December 18, 2008
I wrote this for my prettiest friend.
Photos from Mel's Autumn BBQ a month ago finally uploaded
here.Labels: autumn, food, friendship, memories, photo, tokyo
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Thursday, December 4, 2008
Mount Takao
"Everyone must take time to sit and watch the leaves turn."
- Elizabeth Lawrence 
Photos from Mount Takao uploaded
here.
Labels: autumn, love, memories, mountain, photo, tokyo
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Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Sleep all day, sleep all night
All sleep and no play makes T a dull girl.
I've spent the last two days mostly in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, mostly waking up to eat and take medicine, read a bit of my book, watch a bit of a movie. The blinds are down and the heater is on- having lost concept of day and night, time is marked by when E goes out for work and when he comes back.
I had woken up with a croak yesterday morning and realized that I had lost my voice, so I had to call in to school to tell them I couldn't make it to work. I can barely breath, constantly blowing blobs of green sticky mucus out of my nose, my ears are clogged and my eyes teary.
Everything tastes like cardboard and I have no appetite but I know it's time to eat when I hear my stomach growling out loud, like a petulant child demanding a new toy. The only thing that satiates me now is pudding, so E went to the store and bought all kinds of pudding to put in our fridge.
I only have myself to blame. Having taken last Saturday off for Mel's BBQ, I dressed only in a cardigan and light jacket, thinking it would be warm enough by the pit. Needless to say, I was way underdressed for the chilly weather and my hands and feet were frozen by sunset.
E and I right before sunset
I made it through a full day of work on Sunday, but my voice was changing and my nose running a marathon. I went home, took some flu tablets and went to bed.
The next day, determined not to waste a public holiday, E and I decided head to Mount Takao to admire the autumn foliage in full bloom. We took a two-hour train ride to the foot of the mountain, but as we walked up the route, it started to drizzle. We soldiered on, figuring that the rain would stop but it only got heavier. 15 minutes later, we decided that it was wiser to go back down and seek shelter.
So much for our nature hike.
My gorgeous boy who makes my heart flutter
We hopped on the train to Roppongi instead, stopping for coffee at Koot's before going to Mori Art museum to see their latest installation of contemporary Indian art. We loved it. I will definitely miss the art exhibits in Tokyo when I am gone, another thing to add to my "Do I really want to leave Japan?" list. We ended the evening with dinner at our favourite Chinese restaurant behind Roppongi Hills, feasting on Peking Duck and dumplings.
On the way home, I took a turn for the worse and could barely stand up straight. We took a taxi back from the station, even though it was just a 10 minute walk up the hill.
And so I've been sick ever since. And I just want to get well soon!
Labels: autumn, health, love, memories, mountain, park, tokyo
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The perfection of autumn
There is a hint of melancholy in the autumn air, a sense that the year is coming to an end, that some things must die and life is delicate.
Overnight the landscape is transformed- it is as if God had decided to sit Himself down, and with a click of His marvelous mouse, photoshopped the leaves from green to red.
This is how I know autumn is here- the little path I take that is made of stone slabs is now covered with dried leaves fallen off the trees that once provided shade in the summer heat, and the leaves crackle under my feet.
Spring is too short, summer is too hot, winter is too harsh- but how can you not be in love with autumn? Autumn is perfect.
But still last night as I closed my eyes, I found my thoughts drifting to familiar scenes back home- like, having watching silly late-night Taiwanese variety shows with my siblings and laughing out loud every ten seconds, because it is a language I understand, or walking over to the kopitiam in my oversized tee and flip flops sans make-up to get my daily fix of kopi, because nobody cares how I look, or sitting in my mother's car with Teresa Teng in the player and singing along with my mum to songs that are so familiar to me, I have heard her songs being played in Hong Kong, in Thailand, in Japan, and every time they have brought tears to my eyes.
The notion of home can be arbitary- I left home to come to Japan to discover myself, and now I am leaving my second home and going back to rediscover, reacquaint myself. I know that people do this all the time- they uproot, resettle, reinvent, grow new roots and many never return home, but I have by choice decided to go back and this is my journey to take.
I know I am in good hands.
Labels: autumn, confession, home, life, tokyo
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Friday, November 14, 2008
Remember, remember
Yesterday, close to midnight, as I was walking up the hill towards E's house, alone in the cold, I found myself stopping a few times just to remember. To etch this night into my memories of having lived in Japan.
I was surrounded by the perfect picture of surburban sereneness- most of the homes were lit from inside, their inhabitants preparing to go to bed and the streets were dead quiet. The sky was a beautiful midnight blue, speckled with stars and lit by the the full moon wrapped in a hazy glow. The late autumn air was fresh and sobering. and as I stood there in my downjacket and boots, I found myself tearing.
"I won't be here the next autumn," I thought to myself, almost sadly.
65 days left in this sprawling metropolis, and I remove my rose-tinted lens and start making mental note of this crazy city I've grown accustomed to.
I was on my way to the Starbucks near the Shinjuku South exit when I was approached by a dignified-looking businessman in a well-cut suit who must have been in his early 40s. He murmured something to me, I was caught by surprise. I turned to him and told him I wasn't local in Japanese.
"No Japanese? Can you speak English?" He asked in his language.
"I speak English." I said, trying to fend him off.
"Are you waiting for someone?" he switched effortlessly to English.
"No, I'm not waiting for anyone." hoping he hadn't mistaken me for a streetwalker.
"Do you have some time?" he asked, almost earnestly, and I knew what he wanted.
"I'm going to the bank."
"What bank?" he persisted.
"Citibank."
"Citibank? Hmm... I don't know where."
"Don't worry about it." I was becoming testy.
"After you go to the bank," and he paused, "do you have time for coffee?"
"No..." I smiled reluctantly.
"Oh... Okay, thank you." And with that, he walked away casually.
The thing about these salarymen is, they all dress, look and behave the same in public- you couldn't tell one from another. Yet you scratch the surface and begin to see varying layers of moral complexity and peculiarity, their true selves hidden from society under a blanket of uniformity. How many women would he approach today, I wonder, and would anyone actually agree. What did his boss think he was doing, does he have a family, or any friends? It was beyond me.
And as I walked home from the station, I am suddenly aware of the huge neon billboards that keeps the city alive at all hours of the day. Add that to the incessant cacophony of the salespeople standing at their storefront with a microphone delivering their high-pitched rehearsed speech, the entire neighbourhood is an assault on my senses. Over the last year, I have learnt to shut out the lights and the noise, my only focus was on getting home where I could retreat to the quiet privacy of my room.
Later, on the train to E's, the Keihin-Tohoku line is packed with late-night commuters, many of whom are drunk, and you can tell by their flush faces and slurred speech. The Japanese would not tolerate people talking on their mobile phones on the train, they call it a public nuisance. But yet it is okay to have half a dozen drunkards in every cabin, unable to stand upright and reeking of alcohol. Or to have men who read their erotic magazines on the trains, the pages of their telephone-book-thick publications filled with unsavoury pictures of naked/semi-naked women, their privates mosaiced. I don't get it.
Don't get me wrong, I love Japan. But it is very different coming here on a vacation and actually working and living here, and I am glad for my experience here, which has certainly opened my eyes to another world.
Labels: autumn, confession, life, memories, tokyo
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All I want for autumn
Blessed with the perfect sunny afternoon, without an itinerary or destination, talking and walking along the streets of Tokyo with my girl on my right and my man on my left, I realize that this is really all I need. You and you.
Who cares if life comes with its hiccups, if I couldn't find the perfect pair of glasses, if my clothes don't fit as well anymore?
Labels: autumn, friendship, love, memories, photo, tokyo
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Thursday, October 30, 2008
Autumn
I remember last autumn.
The landscape painted varying hues of red and yellow, fallen leaves on footpaths, day trips in and around Greater Tokyo. Acute homesickness, nostalgia and heartache.
This time round, I am packing suitcases and getting ready to go home, counting down my time in this place that has given me so much, reluctant to go but eager to start anew.
And then there's the feeling of contentment that has settled in my stomach, the smile on my face when I think about him, about us. I wake up every day feeling like I am the luckiest girl in the world.
Today Mel and I spent a perfect autumn afternoon in Kiba.
We bought sandwiches from the convenience store and sat in the park, watching salarymen on their break having packed lunches, retirees walking their dogs and mothers playing with their young children in the open field.
There was a slight chill in the air but it was compensated by the blazing afternoon sun. The sky was a perfect blue, and all around us the foliage was slowly changing colour.
After lunch, we strolled to the
Museum of Contemporary Art Tokyo. We bought the combined pass while allowed us to see
"When Lives Become Form", a vibrant and fantasical showcase of music, artwork and architecture from Brazil and
"A Quiet Gaze, Echoing Words", a photographic collaboration between Japanese Daido Moriyama and Spaniard Miguel Rio Branco. We didn't even get to see the permanent exhibition because Mel had to rush back to work, but I think I might go again.
I will miss this when I'm gone.
But most of all, I will miss Mel. The thought of leaving her breaks my heart. She has seen me through the best and worst of times, my most constant source of support. Still we both have our destinies to fulfill, and I pray that one day we may find ourselves in the same place again.
Labels: autumn, confession, friendship, love, museum, photo, tokyo
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Thursday, October 16, 2008
Rodrigo
You know one of those people you meet for the first time but you feel like you've known for all your life?
I don't remember how, but I met Rodrigo when I was working in Bloomberg- I was based in the Singapore office and he in San Francisco. I did the 6 a.m. shift, which meant my hours overlapped with the end of his shift in the US and we had about 1-2 hours together every day. We used to message/webcam/SMS each other regularly, and even made vague plans to travel together somewhere.
Then I quit the company, moved to Japan and tried to stay in touch but life got in the way.
More than a year later, I got an e-mail from him saying that he was finally coming to Asia and would be spending 10 days in Tokyo. I offered my apartment for him to stay and to take him around.
It felt totally unreal to finally meet him in person, but there was no awkwardness at all.
We spent our time wandering/exploring Tokyo, meeting people, eating ourselves silly, having intense conversations about family upbringing, money, politics, religions, cultures, languages... Sitting in my living room with E and him, canned beer, a bottle of French wine, talking away into the night.
I'll miss him when he leaves on Sunday!
Photos from the last few days uploaded
here.Labels: autumn, friendship, memories, photo, tokyo, travel
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Goodbye summer
I had forgotten what the cold felt like, but autumn arrived like an unannounced visitor this year, sudden and unwelcomed. The temperature fell from about 30 degrees last Friday to less than 20 degrees this week.
I reluctantly packed away all my pretty summer dresses and light cardigans, making space for my scarves, jackets and layers upon layers of what-nots.
Since E is out of town for the week, I've been meaning to go around on my own, explore Tokyo like I used to, but the weather has been putting me off. It wouldn't stop raining and I need new shoes.
It's been work, work, work and Sudoku and the Planet Earth documentaries he left me with.
At least I can look forward to tomorrow, my weekend, and I can have some semblance of a life. ;)
Come home quick, my dear!
Labels: autumn, confession, life, tokyo, work
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Thursday, September 11, 2008
Chano-ma
The best laid plans often go awry, and T was feeling very lazy.
We were supposed to put my new cycling skills to the test by going on a little bike trip somewhere, but we didn't have Mr. Weather on our side. It started drizzling at noon, when we were lounging in bed playing Tetris and Sudoku. I would have been happy doing nothing all day, and when was the last time I did that anyways?
Outside, the air was crisp and almost chilly, my body craving the familiar summer sun but it is now unmistakably autumn. The concept of seasonal weather still eludes me.
E had suggested that we check out Akarenga (translated as red brick warehouse), a historical warehouse by the bay in Yokohama, built in the 20th century and now transformed into a mall with yuppie boutiques, stores and eateries. It was right up my alley, and I loved it. It didn't even feel like I was in Japan.
He brought me to a uber-chic cafe/bar on the third floor called Chano-ma, with a huge island bar in the middle of the restaurant and the wall lined by a row of elevated mattresses and plush pillows. On the left and right were artsy furniture that sat many young Japanese couples, no doubt a popular date place.
We shared a tofu-avocado salad, spicy fried potato (Japlish for "fries"), a warm chocolate cake with vanilla ice-cream and coffee. I read my novel in the dim lighting while he tried to solve another Sodoku puzzle on his iPhone.
A pretty perfect way to spend a rainy weekday afternoon.
And when we were done with our grocery shopping for dinner ingredients, the sun was already setting even though it was just past 6.
Beautiful, isn't it? It looked and felt just like Singapore and made me miss home.
"Today's city was no place to put down roots. It was a barren field, soil that gave off no smell, unplowed and unwatered. Nothing grew in the big city. People there were tumbleweeds, living on the memory of roots put down somewhere else by their parents or their parents' parents. And those roots dry up and wither."
- An excerpt about growing up in a big city
from Miyuki Miyabe's "All She Was Worth"
Labels: autumn, books, coffee, love, photo, tokyo
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Saturday, December 8, 2007
Gotemba
Take me home, country roadThe Beatles sang that money couldn't buy them love, but they have never been to Gotemba.
Oh, Gotemba.
Located in the Northeastern part of Shizuoka prefecture and at the eastern foot of Mt Fuji, it is abundant with nature and also home to the Gotemba Premium Outlets, boasting over 150 big brand names at incredible prices.
I died and went to shopping heaven twice over, and didn't even mind the 6 hours ride to and fro on the local trains. Melissa, Cynthia and I literally crossed rivers, fields and mountains to get there and found ourselves in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by forestation in beautiful hues of orange and red and against the breathtaking backdrop of Mount Fuji.
We only had 2 and a half hours proper to shop, but I was very focused and headed straight to the Coach warehouse, hehe. I decided to reward myself with a Coach wallet and wristlet as an early Christmas present.
I definitely want to go back again sometime soon, hopefully with more disposable cash in my pocket. ;)
More photos from my trip here.
Labels: autumn, memories, photo, shopping, tokyo, travel
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Saturday, November 24, 2007
Of castles and ice-cream
You can never have too many perfect autumn days.
And so it is that I organized a day trip to Odawara, Kanagawa with my girlfriends, 2 hours on the local train away from central Tokyo. It was clear skies and beautiful weather, although a little cold due to the proximity to the mountains and approaching of winter.
On our way there, we saw the snow-capped peak of Mount Fuji hidden behind the Tanzawa mountains and I excitedly pointed it out to my fellow travellers, much to the amusement of the other Japanese on the train.
Our destination was the Odawara castle which has been destroyed in the Meiji period in an effort to wipe out feudalism, but rebuilt in 1960 as a historical monument. There were parts of ancient city gates, a lot of interesting artefacts from the Edo period and even a small local zoo. Did I mention an amazing panaromic view of the surrounding towns and mountains and ocean from the top of the hill?
I was feeling crazy enough for an ice-cream in the autumn chill, but just seconds after I took my first bite of my marron ice-cream, my hand involuntarily let go of the cone and it ended facewards on the pebbled ground.
"Three second rule! Wipe off the top and eat the rest!" Aditi egged me on.
Still in a semi-daze, I turned to Jo and asked, "Would you?"
Of course by then, Jasmine and her are in hysterics. There is a piece of pebble stuck to my ice-cream and I am actually contemplating eating it.
I sighed and threw my 120 yen into the combustibles bin.
The girls tried to comfort me by offering to buy me another cone, but I knew it was not meant to be. Walking towards the castle entrance, Aditi casually remarked, "There is nothing wrong with eating it, you know, except a dog could have peed on the ground."
We stared at her for a few seconds and then burst out laughing.
We were a good crowd- Jo and I, the sassy Singaporean girls, Aditi, the Indian girl from the UK with a quick and dry sense of wit and Jas, the girl-next-door from Aussie.
After the castle park, we wandered around and ended up in a local soba shop touting to serve the best handmade noodles in the country, and it did not disappoint.
Satisfied, we decided to explore the town for more food but somehow found ourselves in Baskin-Robbins, and this time my double-scoop ice-cream cone stayed in my hand. :)
If only every weekend could be a holiday.
For more pictures of our little adventure, click here.
Labels: autumn, food, friendship, memories, photo, tokyo, train, travel
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Saturday, November 10, 2007
Autumn
Lest I forget this beautiful autumn day-
Labels: autumn, friendship, memories, photo, tokyo
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Inokashira Park, Kichojoji
Today was the perfect autumn day- beautiful weather, great company and simple pleasures.
Still hungover from last weekend, I've been taking it slow the entire week and was desperate to get out of the city.
Thank God for Ben and Mellie.
We met a young photographer who is working as a camera assistant and he showed us his portfolio. He asked to take our individual portraits and we chatted with him for a while. His dream is to save up enough money to move to New York or Europe to pursue photography.
And then the question came- what do
you want to do in 5 years? God knows.
Labels: autumn, friendship, memories, photo, tokyo
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Ami
It's a little complicated and I don't expect anyone to remember, but this is how I met Ami.
Ami is a friend of Kaori whom she met at a home party; Kaori is a friend of Eric whom she met when she did her undergraduate studies in UMass; Eric is a friend of Ben whom he met when they were both doing an exchange in Hokkaido for a year and Ben is my co-worker whom I have been hanging out with.
We all had met in an izakaya one night when Eric was visiting from Niigata.
So Ami was a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend, but she's now my friend too. :)
In Tokyo, the city of chance meetings and random acquaintances, it is the most populous place in the world but perhaps one of the most isolating as well.
Which is why I count myself blessed to find someone like Ami, who is intelligent and independent and inspires me. I feel like we have known each other all our lives, except we really don't, because she was raised in Australia and returned to Japan for college and lived in London for a year to do a graduate course.
We started with a half-pint at the Hub, moved on to a sukiyaki nomihodai (all-you-can-eat) at Mo-mo Paradise and then ended with a simple coffee at St Marc's.
It was a no-frills night out, very low-key but meaningful in so many ways.
I will be bringing her and Jo to the Mori Art museum on Friday night for the contemporary art exhibit, and I'm looking forward to it! :)
Labels: autumn, beer, coffee, culture, friendship, shopping, tokyo
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Thursday, October 25, 2007
Let it die
I haven't quit fallen off the face of the earth yet. Like Miss Aw, I have been trying to reclaim my life.
Once you overcome the fear of not having him around you, the deafening silence of an empty apartment, you learn to enjoy the solitude and freedom to do whatever you like at whatever time of the day. The luxury of fully unpacking and filling up a gigantic wardrobe with your clothes, bags and shoes.
In the span of the last week, I've gone out and met about a dozen new people, learnt how to cook some simple dishes, got my hair professionally-dyed to orangey-brown, gone shopping for more autumn wear, bought my first pair of killer leather boots, finished two Haruki Murakami novels and kept my room clean.
Maybe it's nostalgia, maybe it's the need to escape from this crazy city, but I find myself missing Hong Kong a lot lately, even more than I miss home.
When I think about how everything began that fateful night in Hei Hei and the wonderful memories we shared, it leaves a bittersweet aftertaste. Jeff told me that the club recently folded, and the irony of the situation didn't escape me.
It's not just a coincidence, is it?
Labels: autumn, confession, life, love, memories, tokyo
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Coping
It's 18 degrees and freezing, but you tighten the scarf around your neck, shove your hands into your pockets and convince yourself it's not cold. You walk in the light rain, trembling uncontrollably but try to remember what the scorching sun felt like in the peak of summer and quicken your pace home.
You clean up the entire apartment and keep it spick and span, adding a personal touch to the place so that it becomes your own. You fill up your social calender with people to meet and things to do because an idle mind is the devil's playground. You go out and have fun, eat well, read as much as you can- you know deserve happiness as much as anyone else.
You refuse to grovel, beg or strive for his affection anymore, because in retrospect and growing wisdom you realize he is nothing but a series of sweet talk, carefully constructed lies, empty promises and false hopes.
He was an addiction you have to quit, and after the withdrawal period you know you will be more than just
okay.
Labels: autumn, life, love, memories, tokyo
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A tour less ordinary
Masaki is an atypical Tokyonite- he dons a suit and sells television units to corporate clients on weekdays, but on weekends he doubles as a tour guide for foreign students around Tokyo.
He has been doing this for the last 10 years, charging a token fee for a fully-customizable tour and bringing you to unconventional sights and sounds in the big city. He doesn't belong to an agency and relies on the subway to show people around.
He does not possess a mobile phone, which is quite the anomaly in fast-paced and gadget-crazy Tokyo and carries a plain Muji bag that is slightly tearing at the seams. He is refreshingly simple, and you find out he spends most of his money earned travelling around the world, mostly on his own.
He tells you he is 37, but he has more energy than someone in their 20s. He hates having his picture taken but would happily snap photos for you, over and over again until he gets a good angle.
I had the honour of experiencing a tour less ordinary organized by him today.
The itinerary was spectacular- it began with watching a sumo practice in a sumo stable, then visiting the Tokyo-Edo musuem and attending an ikebana exhibition, a lunch buffet at a upscale Thai restaurant in Shinjuku and finished with a big band and wind orchestra concert. All for the incredible price of 3000 yen which includes a one-day metro pass, a bottle of green tea and photocopied handouts explaining the different activities we were going to do that day.
It's the most fun I've had in a day since I got here, and here it is captured in pictures-
Stop 1: Oshima Sumo stable in Ryoguku
We watched a dozen sumos train for over an hour, praticing moves like matawari (leg stretching), shiko (stamping), teppo (steel columns), sanbangeiko (three-bout wrestling) and butsukari-geiko (attacking).
After the session we asked to take a photo with the most senior sumo wrestler, who was soft-spoken and down-to-earth. I later found out he was the famous Kyokutenho, of Mongolian descent and next-in-line as stable master.
Stop 2: Tokyo-Edo museum in Ryogoku
It is a musuem dedicated to the Edo period in Japanese history, right before the onset of the Meiji era when the emperor seized the power from the shoguns and Japan was westernized.
We had a volunteer English guide who was a literally a walking encyclopedia and memorized dates, facts and figures.
Stop 3: Ikebana exhibition in Ueno
I always thought of
ikebana as a hobby for retired old ladies, but today's exhibition really opened up my eyes to the world of floral arrangement and showed me that it was a sophisticated art form with many genres.
I definitely want a plant in my room now.
Stop 4: Buffet lunch at Erawan restaurant in ShinjukuStop 5: Big Band and Wind Orchestra performance at Tokyo Concert HallFinal stop: Drinks and yakitori at Piss Alley in Shinjuku
After a full day out, Wendy and I decided to buy Masaki dinner to thank him for his time and effort. We drank too much Asahi beer and spent a long time talking and discussing future travel plans...
Ahred, you have to come soon!
Labels: autumn, culture, friendship, memories, museum, photo, tokyo, travel
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